Tuesday 11 December 2012

Appa- I love you. I miss you. RIP

Bid adieu Appa..


All good things should come to an end – there is a saying. For me, a mere thought that the best thing should also come to an end – is hard to digest, but it happened. Yes, my grand father passed away  on 3rd December 2012) in Chennai. He was 94 years old.

I quote my Grandfather as SGRS throughout my article here as I don't want to confuse my father with my grandfather.

I remembered the quotes of two great persons on Gandhiji, which is very relevant for my SGRS.

Albert Einstein said of Gandhiji

“Generations to come, it may be, will scarce believe that such one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth”

Bernard Shaw

“Impressions of Gandhi? You might well ask for someone's impression of the Himalayas”

SGRS is my maternal grand father who was born in a small village, semmangudi, a hamlet, 11 Kms from Tiruvarur and 5 kms from kodavAsal, in Tiruvarur and kumbakonam route. His mother was from Panangudi. His father’s name of Gopala sastrigal and mother, Muthulakshmi.  A separate Autobiography of SGRS will be published later to know more about his personal life.  I just narrate my views.

He is my de facto father as I grew with him from my childhood. Actually, I thought my real father was my grandfather till I passed my 5th Standard. Neverthless, for me, it did not make any difference as I was showne abundant love and affection by SGRS. Once in a year, when my father met me with English Guide and mother, many times, it did not make much impact in my life.

Interestingly, if we see in a family, fathers are very strict and mothers are courteous and mouthpiece of the children.  She carries the obligations/complaints to the father and gets it done. In my family, it was otherway around.  That adds more beauty to the exceptional quality of  SGRS..

My progress card had been signed by SGRS and by profession, he is a sastrigal (purohit). Going to houses to do pooja and performing rituals at many houses. He was a perfectionist. He did not expect money. Even if 50 ps was given, he performed the puja to the fullest satisfaction of his conscious first and also the people of the performing house.

He underwent gurukulam in Shri.YajnaNarAyana Deekshitar. At the age of 18, he started  doing this profession and till he attained “mukti” in his 95th year, he breathed only the VedAs. I was told, during his gurukula vAsam, that one junior student joined. In order to bring him at par with his level, SGRS slowed down his learning and brought him at par with his level of teaching.  This may be a simple thing.  But many of us  fail to notice one of the management principles imbibed in this .

He had given dignity to his profession. He was very pious, full of patience and never tried to wound any one. He had all the problems in his life, be the growing of 5 daughters and son and also grand son and administering visitors and earning to feed all these people. But, he never got tired of all these factors.

In Bhagavad Gita, there a word sthita prajna is used which means one who has thorough control over the senses, one who is always aware of the inner spirit, does everything in the awareness of the soul and as an offering to God with love and without anxiety or emotion.  I don't see any right person except SGRS for this title.

He never chose a wrong path to attain wealth. Always a path of truthfulness. He walked 4 kilometers to perform a pooja and returned by walk. He got Re 1 may be Re 2. His pooja performed in that house is “invaluable”. Even his rivals in his profession lauded the perfection of veda chanting.

When he died, he looked like paramEshwaran, adoring the rudrAksha given by paramAcharyAl of kAnchi, with vibhuthi on his forehead. I remembered this verse from rAmAyanA as said by vAlmiki.

“rAmo vigrahavAn, dharma sAsdhu’s satyaparAkramah....”

The above verse was uttered by mArichan, a demon in the kingdom of Ravana who described Rama’s characteristics. He says, “Ram looks like a beautiful sculpture and he is the embodiment of truth”. Remember he is on the other side and praising RamA. That is the character of SGRS.

I wintnessed so many "holy" events on his last day and some mighe be  incredible too. But, these events taught me the existence of God. It also proved the point if you believe in God and followed the path of Dharma irrespective of the obstacles and hardship, Lord ParamEshwara will be waiting to hug you after your death.

The Doctor advised us that he would not live after 24 hours and not to take him to hospital as it would only extend his living period with wires througout the body and injections every alternate hour. His son followed his advice correctly.

The cow and calf which were brought the previous day night for Gift (dAnam), (which is usually given on the fourteenth day)  had been given the moment after his death.  It is considered the most sacred aspect of Hindu Dharma.  Interestingly, we performed the Cow pooja on Monday monring in the main hall, and Cow's "gomium" (Urin of Cow is very sacred and is one of the medicines used)
washed the hall to mark the purification of that place.  After his death, the dAnam process started in the same plance, Cow's gomium again washed the main hall.  Ultimately it was where the body was laid down to perform the rites. God again wanted to confirm that the body was laid on the sacred place.

He died on " kArthigai sOma vAram and also a sangAbhishekam day" which is the most auspicious day for paramEshwara.

The sastrigal (purOhit) entered the house, when SGRS passed away.  It means God wanted to perform the rites without waiting for the arrival of Purohits.

He passed away at 12.45 PM and since 1PM to 3.00 PM on Monday was not auspicious time for performing rituals, all the post-death rituals started at 3 PM and he was cremated at 6 PM, which is considered to be the "pradhOsham time" an auspicious time for paramEshwara, again.

No non-brahmins were present till his mortal remains were removed in to Ambulance. It means, the rites were performed with Brahmins around.  Another part perfectly played by God as he did embrace the body of SGRS which could not be allowed to be seen by non-brahmins. It may look awkward but the true point, here is, he lived for vEdams, he performed Poojas to the fullest satisfaction of God and God reciprocated the way he wanted.

There was heavy rain on that day. It was told that it will rain, when a puNya purusha dies.

Manual cremation slot was available perfectily in time which is normally not available and one has to wait in the queue to cremate.

Full family, son, daugthers, daughter in law, grandsons (not all) and grand daughter were present when SGRS beathed his last. It was Monday, few of the Grandsons were about to leave by 3.30 trains. Even I was about to go to Hyderabad at 4.30 train.  Before we decided our way, God had decided to make us united to see his last moments. 

Appa used to tell these words "Dhamo rakshati rakshitaha" and another verse from vishnu sahasranamam "AchAra prabhavo dharmA" which means if you hold the dharma and never deviate even an iota , it will serve you and uplift your life and make you a wholsome "dharmishtan".

Without mentioning two greatest persons, I would be doing injustice to my Appa !!


In Shrimad-Bhagavatam (1.9.27) Bhishma instructs King Yudhishthira about the various types of dharmas which include stri-dharma that means duties of women. Interestingly, he did not mention anything about purusha-dharma as he knows without women, purushA has got no dharma. For a Dharmistar like my appa two ladies helped to achieve his mission.

My Amma (wife of SGRS), Smt.Alamelu ammal is an unsung heroine in SGRS life. Married and entered his house at her tender age (14), she administered the family which would be reckoned as one of the Management lessons for IITians. Without electricity, heavy rains, no hospital in the near vicinity, birth of children, birth of grand children, orthodox nature of the family and typical huge village house etc, she never got tired in performing her duties to the satisfaction of her husband. She played a pivotal role in his life and in making SGRS to perform his pooja peacefully not only in his house and also in other’s house. She expressed her difficulties many times to SGRS as it was the only way to ease her pressure. The way, she managed all these affairs, would make me really proud to get the answer for the question who will be the ideal “made for each other couple” ? She is alive to bless us and fill up the vacuum created by him.

In my family, the only outsider was the daughter-in-law. Smt.Bhuvana Rajagopalan, SGRS had been fortunate to have a amiable, understandable and caring DIL. Without her, SGRS could not have achieved the mission he lived for in his post 60’s. His daily routine puja or fortnightly pradhosham or any bi-annual or annual rituals were performed with fullest satisfaction. Born in traditional music family aka Sattur family, her contribution in SGRS life merits mention. She may be a sort of unsung DIL in this crowd of relatives. But, certainly she has got a place in his heart forever which is the most important achievement to her credit.

As explained by Shri.Raju ganapadigal aka Vaideehashri, we have lost a true Dharmishtar, who lived Dharma, embraced Dharama and breathed Dharma.

Appa I will miss you. Life will not be same as it was. Your last days are and will be in my memory for ever. Your lived a King’s life.  Wealth, sophistication, Bungalow, Cars and luxuries will not make one person wealthy. Following the set of rules that was followed by the forefathers and never deviate from them make one person a real King. Son, daughters, grandsons, granddaughter and daughther in law were present when you breathed last. All rites were performed as you wished. You have a great son who lived his life for you and amma. You sowed the seed of bhakthi, we are reaping the benefit.

I will certainly live the life you taught me and I will not deviate from this, This is the assurance I will give you. Thank you appa for the wonderful life you have given me.... You are a truly principled man. Love you appa. Love you for ever.

Iam fortunate to keep you as my mail ID. grsastrigal@gmail.com....... (contd an article about amma.....)

1 comment:

Mani said...

Hi Ramki....This is truly wonderful....tears rolling down on thinking of this Mahatma....where I am proud to be the only person who was given the rights to do Pooja. He is my Guru for all poojas hereafter.....Because of that, I am unable to eat my food without doing Pooja...Long way for me to go....to be like him...atleast 10%...forget me like him...Not posssible for atleast this Janam...Thatha is truly a Saint...This proves even after getting Married, once can acheive Saint hood...Proved by my Thatha....who will call me "Ambi" ? even if some body calls, will there be the same "Vanjai" ? Missing you thatha !!!!!!!!!