Part I
Muthu mama passed away on 21st May 2016. He had been ailing for 4-5 months and undergoing treatment in chennai.
For those who are new to our relationship, he was my Fathers-in-Law’s younger brother and his demise ended an excellent “relationship” era in my life cycle.
It
is not my habit to write obituary nor am I competent to write. Last I
wrote for my Grand mother and Grand father, with whom I spent my younger days.
Iam
an emotional b***d, may be. I could not reconcile this bereavement
because of my wife, sow. Meenakshi, without whom I could not have imagined my
23 years married life, was proposed by him in our family.
From
that day, till his last day, his humility and love to my family was astounding.
Rarely, you see-brother of a Father in Law -showing 100% affection and respect
to the other family. Particularly, his respect to my father was beyond
words, which I have seen many times.
He proposed Sow.Meenakshi to our family and after successfully completing the proposal informed her parents. Interestingly, my wife’s family had never known this proposal until Muthu mama informed them.
It is something unusual, Younger brother of FIL, taking serious steps, to finalise a proposal. This showed his character and love for his brothers’ family.
My mother wondered even Sow. Meenakshi’s father Sri.Ramaswamy would have taken that many steps to get her daughter married.
When I got married, my Father in law was not in good health. So, Muthu mama took the entire responsibility and looked into each and every aspect in the marriage and completed it successfully.
My
father used to tell even now that he has not seen any other marriage, better
than my marriage, in all aspects, be it food, arrangements, jAnavAsam,
hospitality….superlative arrangements.
The
seed was sown by Mr. Muthu mamA for this, undoubtedly.
When I joined a Company in Mumbai after my marriage, my
two brothers had to stay with me as they were working in Mumbai
companies. She never said “no” for this. She had to pack tiffin for
all of us as we were leaving early every day morning. Night, we returned
late. She took care of my brothers as her own brothers. When
my first son was born, she never stopped taking care of my brothers.
This
attitude might be insignificant for some people. For me, this was the
great character of her which she certainly inherited from Muthu mama.
Part II
After I got married, I came to know from so many incidents that he lived his life to his relatives more than his own family.
I heard from Ram, my Sister-in-law’s husband, how he went emotional during my FIL’s death.
I was with him, when thAttapA passed away and ammammA (sister) and Muthusway’s (brother’s) memorable moments !!!
Recently, Kumar, his relative, narrated this- “During my Father’s sadhabhishekam. invitation being given to Sri.Muthusamy, he immediately took some cash and given it to me". A true family man !!
He also added though he is so kind enough to give the cash, he takes the bus or train to come to my home. He does not want to spend unnecessarily.
His impeccable professional life always merits mention. Working in customs, he did not deviate in his ethics. Being a senior post and lot of pressure, he could have been a slave to money power, but he did not. Such an attitude brought him more laurels. It is a lesson to present generation.
His golden heart got him golden Sons-in-law and I have not seen such an excellent SIL to take care of him in his good days and also during his last days.
Though, daughters always attached to their fathers, I could witness how Sow, Vidya and Sow. Kala taking care of her parents in his last days. Emotional bond and could not be expressed in words.
Rajesh, his son is another excellent person and the days I spent with him in Bangalore is still in my memory. Nice to see him to do his last rites to his father. Let God give him courage and confidence to come good very soon from bereavement.
Part III
I would be failing in my duty if I conclude this without mentioning Smt. Savithri, wife of Muthu mama.
In
Sivanandalahari, Adi shankarar, while defining bhakthi, makes a comparison for
us to easily understand. Even now, many of us do not know what is
bhakthi
Interestingly, when Ramana maharishi was asked to select the best of Sivananda lahari, he chose this verse as first.
अंकोलं निज बीज सन्ततिरयस्कान्तोपलं सूचिका
साध्वी नैज विभुं लता क्षिति-रुहं सिन्धुस्सरिद् वल्लभम् ।
प्राप्नोतीह यथा तथा पशु-पतेः पादारविन्द-द्वयं
चेतो-वृत्तिरुपेत्य तिष्ठति सदा सा भक्तिरित्युच्यते
Adi Shankara- “our bhakthi our prEmam towards paramEshwarAs pAdaravindham (abode of Lord Siva) is like….
In this, the second line-
साध्वी नैज विभुं - means
Like the chaste woman reaches for her lord,
लता क्षिति-रुहं - means
Like the tender creeper reaches for near by trees
A true example of the above is Smt.Savithri.
I could find Muthu mama’s wife lived her life for him. She was like a shadow in his life.
What she was showing to Muthu mama was real bhakthi. So, she was no different from those who has unconditional bhakti in the abode of Lord Shiva.
Let Lord Siva give her enough courage to withstand this grief.
Thanks Muthu mama. Thanks for everything. You brought glory to your family. Places like dArAsuram, kumbakonam and kumaran nagar always spread your fragrance of your presence. Generations to come, you will be remembered in our family like mahAtama Gandhi to India,
He passed away on Vaikasi VisAgam (Murugan) and Anusha Nakshatram (mahA periavA's jayanthi day). Great soul departs on an auspicious day.
Ammamma, ailing sister, could not remember anything, when we informed Muthu mama’s demise.
But, she went to pooja room and said “nAganAtha swamy took him for ever”.
That sums up everything.
