Friday, 25 September 2015

Alamelu Ammal - My Grand Mother –An epitome of unconditional Love.



Smt Alamelu Ramamurthy, my dearest mother’s mother, (MM)  passed away after a month of prolonged illness on 20th Aug 2014.  As we are nearing one year rituals (Aabhdhigam), it merits bringing a blog on this topic. 

I wanted to bring out a topic on this one year back. When my grandfather, Shri. Ramamurthy Sastrigal, passed away, I could bring an article immediately but I could not do so for my Granny.  Iam writing this after one year. This may also be “her” wish ….

She had been ailing for the past 1 month, before her passing away  and shunting between ICU in Surya Hospital in Chennai and residence at Kotturpuram thrice and finally came the end on the fateful date 5.30 PM, almost a year ago.

She was so beautiful, able administrator, faced challenges face to face, stubborn, loved all her siblings, affectionate to all the village people,. Good at kitchen, faithful wife to her husband, pious in performing her duties and above all, saw that their kids never starved for food and derailed in discipline..

Born with 3 brothers and 4 sisters,  she had not had a wonderful “childhood chidambaram life” (where she was born) which enabled her to “define her life” to execute in Semmangudi life .   Daughter of Sri.Sundaresa Sastrigal and Smt Janaki, she witnessed poverty and the full family had “prasadams” from Nataraja, the celestial God of Chidambaram. It was the only food for a dozen people in the family.  But she learnt good conduct, devotion and administrative power in her childhood, which were used at her later stage in Semmangudi. She cherished her father called her “ambuloooo” whenever he comes from Natarja temple.  Such warmth, love and compassion, she imbibed from her father and shown to all her kids.

She came to Semmangudi, as a wife of Shri.Ramamurthy Sastrigal at the age of 16 and she gave birth to her first daughter at the age of 17.  Not possible now a days as per current law and the education level.

At the young age as daughter in law at Semmangudi, unfortunately, she lost her Father-in-laws and Mother-in-law within 1 year or two.  The entire administration fell on her shoulders and how she succeeded in bringing the entire things under control is something which Shivkhera or Chetanbhagat would dare to have thought of.



Humiliated many times by many relatives, she never lost her vision. She knew very well that this would affect the growth of their children and so, took those head on and solved and those who did that had taken a humble pie and she had the last laugh !!

As a typical village again, she gave birth to 5 daughters and one son besides taking me as one of the members of the family.  Though money was always problem because of my Grand father’s “sastrigal” profession, not even a single day, I think, we starved for food.  On any day, we had curd and pickles.  Our entire family of 8-10 people, in semmangudi, had never been begging for food.

Astonishingly, if you think now days, we starve for food either because of many diseases or on account of more stresses.  Today, we don’t take food at the fixed time and also not taking healthy foods.

Actually, I even wonder - without money, my Grand Father, Shri Ramamurthy sastrigal,  would have had more stress and resisted from taking food.  But, I had never seen him or AMMA starving or resisting.  They had full meals twice a day and also had seen their kids not starving.  Incredible in today’s parlance.

Let me tell you the family tree a bit for those who read this

Smt. Devaki Balakrishnan
Smt  Vasantha Kunjithapatham
Smt. Gomathi Krishnamurthy
Smt  Mythili Muthuraman
Sri. Rajagoplan
Smt. Saraswathi venkatraman

All the above Daughters/son had grandsons/grand daughters. 

Almighty is great and all the siblings nurtured by her were present when she breathed last. In fact most of them had been present during the 10 days before her demise and even the last two days, we had enough Vishnu sahasranamam’s being chanted.  When I chanted Vishnu Sahasranamam on that fateful day, I remembered the same being taught to me by Hindi Teacher in Semmangudi during my childhood.  This, she insisted, to learn from him. Today, this is the wealth, I cherish.

She wished to be cremated in Srirangam and her rites to be performed there only and as per her wish, everything was done and it had no hiccups or problems.  It was a wonderful journey for her even after her demise.

She had seen many happy moments, agony, humilations, stabbing by her relatives and sad moments.  But she withstood by her rock solid determination which none of us living today had possessed.

It was saddest day for us when we sold the Semmangudi house 15years ago owing to settling in City and no one to take care of the house.  We all cried on that day.  We also visited twice/thrice to that house and truly crestfallen.

She was a shadow for my Grand Father.  Each and every function, whether good or bad, had been performed with great aplomb.   Such a big house and cleaning the house itself will take an hour or two.  She was able to celebrate all functions with exuberance and could administer all rituals/rites with great care.   She was made perfectionist in the process because of my GF who was another “agmark” perfectionist.

She had three parts of her life,  Semmangudi life with full of challenges, happy semmangudi life, and happiest post semmangudi life. 

I do not call her as pAtti as I had been calling her as my mother from the day one. When I grew to identify the real relationship, I continued to call her amma.

I feel any kid who was brought up under her grand parents’ custody would be more disciplined than mothers’.  I was fortunate as some of the kids.

I was also lucky to have been nurtured by  Grandmother and I was taken by her from Tiruvaiyaru, where my parents were working, to Semmangudi at the age of 3. .  As my parents were employed and as in 60s, combined family and work pressure saw my mother sent me to her mother’s house at Semmangudi.  (I have written a separate blog about Semmangudi).

I grew in Semmangudi with Varadraja perumAl and Anandavalli samEda Agastheeswarar were the Gods in Semmangdi,  If I have an iota of Bhakthi today, it was because she nurtured it in me.

I was very happy to be amongst  group of people in semmangudi.  A joint family with people like chitti, mama and periammas and grandfather and their grand children was a real ga ga situation.

As a typical village and especially a Brahmin village, my AMMA was showing such a peerless love to all the people surrounded by her.

The passing away of my mother (pAtti)  on 20th August 2014,  ended an important chapter in my life history.

Going back to those golden days where she entered Semmangudi at the age of 16, married. till she breathed last in Chennai on that day, it was worth to have a chapter on Management Theory and present it in IIT.

Before I end this blog, I need to mention about her daughter-in-law, Smt.Bhuvana Rajagopalan.  She was one who took care of my AMMA like more than her mother.  Till her, last breath, Smt BR was like a shadow. 

For this, I had to thank Smt. Bhuvana from her heart. 

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